Alright, first things first. I apologize for the lack of life on the blog this week (this is only the second post). I managed to wreck my car (picture at right; click for larger view) in a two-car accident on Wednesday night and have spent most of the rest of the week re-gathering my nerves, dealing with the insurance aftermath, procuring some wheels while we determine what to do with the car, etc. We’ll try to get things back on track this week. We’ve got the awards today and then something on the Quinnipiac – Dartmouth men’s basketball game tomorrow (I’m thinking running diary at this point). Other ideas being tossed around for the next couple weeks include: some form of year-end wrap-up (this will depend on how many wacky news stories I can find from earlier in the year), a “Night Before Christmas” story (which will revolve around Quinnipiac, the sports world, stupid people, or some combination of all three), something on the college football national championship game, along with whatever else I can come up with. Of course, if anyone out there has ideas for things which need to be written about, feel free to pass them along. Now, on to today’s post:
Every Sunday, “The Voice of (un)Reason” presents two unReason of the Week Awards, one each in the field of sports and news. These awards honor the most ridiculous, inane, or downright stupid things we found over the course of the previous week. On a side note, I think I’m really going to like writing the titles for these awards posts; they can lead to some really ridiculous stuff. Anyway, on to the awards:
This week’s unReason of the Week Award for sports goes to Parents of Arkansas Football for their shameless harassment of Razorbacks head coach Houston Nutt. This team just made the SEC Championship game, where it fell only to the national championship game-bound Florida Gators. They won 10 games for the first time since 1989 and had only three losses for the first time since 1998. They are headed for a bowl game for the first time in three years. They are going to be nationally ranked at the end of the season for the first time since 1999. They’re going to the CapitalOne Bowl, which is arguably their most prestigious bowl appearance since 1989 when they went to the Cotton Bowl, back when the Cotton Bowl actually meant something. Yet, somehow none of this is good enough for the parents of a few football players at the University of Arkansas. Instead of revelling in the success of the Razorbacks, these parents are worried more about the playing time their little “angels” are getting. Never mind that the students in question are true freshmen, and as such should simply be ecstatic to be getting any playing time at a I-A program, much less a team that is a contender in the nation’s toughest conference. Add in that the parents didn’t even have the guts to confront Nutt instead, but went over his head and yapped to Athletic Director Frank Broyles. What a joke, I hate obsessive parents. ESPN’s Pat Forde said it right when he said that college football coaches generally aren’t worth their inflated salaries, but Houston Nutt is earning every penny of his.
This week’s unReason of the Week Award in the field of news goes to the Texas Legislature for considering a bill which would allow the blind to hunt. Go ahead, I’ll give you time to re-read that line. Texas is seriously considering… allowing… the blind… to hunt… with guns!… Go read it one more time if you want. Good? Okay. This article was originally featured in the links section of Wednesday’s “NFL Term Papers” post. Now, I do kind of see where they’re coming from with this. Specially designed sights, making it mandatory that a person with good eyesight be present to help them aim. Texas is trying to use modern technology to allow all of its citizens to enjoy one of the state’s favorite past times. But, while I understand that, let’s be serious, shall we? These people are BLIND! And you want to let them SHOOT GUNS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! If this bill somehow becomes law, the late night shows are going to have a field day. Again, they want to give the BLIND the right to SHOOT GUNS! Why am I not surprised at all that this issue came up in Texas. Although, on the other hand, the blind can’t possibly do any more damage than Dick Cheney, right?
Some links from the second half of this week:
Search for a Cat Causes Apartment to Go Up in Flames – Some lady burned up her entire apartment because she chose to use a cigarette lighter to light the area under her bed to search for her cat. Ever heard of a flashlight? Score another one for Bridgeport.
Woman Clobbers Manager With Sack of Potatoes – I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
7-Foot Python Pulled from Toilet in Australia – I don’t think I’d be able to take a crap for a solid week if that happened in my house. Yikes!
Glass-Bottom Deck Planned at Grand Canyon – I would totally go to Arizona just for this. That is going to be so cool if it gets built.
Accuser in Duke Rape Case Pregnant – I’m sure you all saw this on ESPN or on the news at some point this week. My question is this: how is this just coming up now? How did nobody pick up on this earlier? We hear nothing about this lady for months, and then suddenly “Pop!” she’s giving birth to a child?! Strange. Hopefully paternity testing can answer once and for all whether the Duke Lacrosse players were involved in this mess or not.
Mice on a Plane! – Ah ha ha ha. Hysterical.
Man Sentenced to Community Service for Sleeping on Railroad Tracks – Apparently the event in question happened back in March, but the man is just being sentenced now. Pretty funny nonetheless.