Doublin’ Up

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What happens when you have a blog and you have nothing worthwhile to write about? Why, you look to what you are doing for inspiration, that’s what. On Sunday afternoon, Quinnipiac Basketball hosted a doubleheader. At noon, the Quinnipiac Women defeated Dartmouth, 77-70. Then, at 3:00, the Quinnipiac Men fell to New Hampshire, 64-59. Now, a doubleheader has both its pros and cons. On the plus side, it is an entire evening or afternoon revolving around sports. On the negative side, if your team(s) don’t show up to play, it can make for a long six hours or so. If you’re working a doubleheader (such as I was this afternoon) there’s more money than for a single game, but on the other hand, there’s that brain-dead feeling after seven hours of responsibility (which may explain the sheer lackluster-ness of this post). And thus, with the inspiration of a doubleheader, we take a look at the other doubles of the world, and their positives and negatives:

Double Jeopardy

• Pro: Prevents you from being tried again for a crime you’ve already been committed of… double dollar value round on the TV show…
• Con: Allows O.J. to start writing books about how he would have committed murders…

Daily Double

• Pro: Sticking with the game show idea, a way to double your winnings and make up some ground or put the game away…
• Con: Chance to look like an ass on national TV (somewhere out there, somebody’s screaming at their television with the correct answer)…

Dubble Bubble

• Pro: Three bucks will get you a giant bag with about 300 pieces in it…
• Con: On average, each piece holds its flavor for about 3.7 seconds. The bag will only last you about 20 minutes…

Doublemint Gum

• Pro: The Doublemint Twins. “Double your pleasure, double your fun” indeed…
• Con: Again, flavor gone within five minutes. If this stuff is double pleasure, I’d hate to know what single pleasure tastes like (probably tastes like Double Bubble)…

Double Dare

• Pro: Fantastic game show from the glory days of Nickelodeon… a phrase which back in elementary school was guaranteed to get anybody to do anything (and could only be topped by the “double dog dare,” whatever the hell that actually meant)…
• Con: Physical challenges often involved pies ending up in your pants… There would be absolutely no chance of getting through the show without being completely covered in some form of slime… “Legends of the Hidden Temple” was where all the glory was anyway…

Double Trouble

• Pro: Entertaining board game from back in the day. As I recall, the main purpose of this game was to get all the way around the board before your opponents. Mainly popular because you popped the dice in the little bubble instead of rolling them…
• Con: Goodness was that popping noise from the bubble ever annoying…

Double Dribble

• Pro: Classic Nintendo video game from the late 1980s, made by Konami (the same fine folks who brought you “Blades of Steel,” “Contra,” and the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “The Simpson’s” arcade games. One of the first video games to use cut-scenes to enhance the game’s graphics…
• Con: In real basketball, all a double dribble will do is get you a turnover and a seat on the bench…

Double Down

• Pro: The wise blackjack player can make a ton of cash off of this secondary bet…
• Con: The unwise blackjack player can lose a ton of cash off of this secondary bet… Also, the term just sounds like a bad white guy dance move…

Double

• Pro: Two-base hit in baseball… Boosts the slugging percentage a little… Either sets the table for your teammates to drive in runs or possibly picks you up some RBIs yourself…
• Con: If someone like David Ortiz or Cecil Fielder is on first base when you hit a double; sorry, you just aren’t going to pick up a RBI…

Double Dip

• Pro: If you’re the double-dipper, it’s all positive. You get dip on each bite of chip and nobody else is going to try to take any of the dip… If you’re alone, a perfectly acceptable practice…
• Con: If you’re not the double-dipper, and were hoping to share the dip, it’s just disgusting…

Double Date

• Pro: Can ease the tension a little bit and make everyone a little more comfortable…
• Con: Double the opportunity for awkwardness…

Double Chocolate Anything

• Pro: Quite obvious; there’s double the chocolate…
• Con: Unless you’re allergic to chocolate or a dog, I can’t think of any…

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The Random News Links of the Last Few Days:

Employees Take Zambonis on Fast-Food Run – Oh man, these guys are my new heroes. (Credit: Kyle Dorau first pointed me in the direction of this one. Jocelyn Schwartz pointed it out a couple days later. A couple days after that, I stumbled across it somewhere else on my own. The link posted is the one Kyle gave me.)

Teenager Drops Marijuana in Courtroom – This is one of those stories that just makes you scratch your head. Some of the quotes from the boy’s mother are just phenomenal. Example: “His brain is glued together with Silly Putty. He can’t think his way out of a paper bag, but he can do physics.” Priceless.

Woman Found Dead Trapped Behind Bookcase – Wait… what? They lived in the house with her for 11 days and never found her? Doesn’t sound like they were looking very thoroughly. Didn’t she yell for help or anything? Seems to me like this is a death that could have been avoided. Then again, she did get stuck behind a bookcase trying to adjust her television. Maybe Darwin was on to something.

Man Kills Friend With Shotgun Over Football Bet – Yeah, some “friend.” Shoot your buddy in the chest over twenty bucks. Classy.

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