Thanksgiving: the day we celebrate our ancestry by eating foods and celebrating in a way that actually has nothing to do with the Pilgrims who are generally associated with the holiday. But that’s no reason not to watch a parade, stuff your face, and then pass out on the couch watching football. So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we give you the best reasons to watch football all day today:
The only time all year the Lions will be in the spotlight – Unless you live in the Detroit area, this is going to be one of only a few chances you get this year to see Matt Millen’s ineptitude at running a professional football franchise. Millen has done a spectacular job of running the once-proud Lions into the ground, making poor draft picks, bad trades, and awful personnel decisions. He has enraged the entire fan-base (look for the “Fire Millen” signs in the crowd at Ford Field this afternoon) and yet has managed to keep his job and continually receive contract extensions from team owner William Ford. Enjoy the poor management skills firsthand today, and while you’re at it, also soak up the ineptitude of…
… the Miami Dolphins annual collapse – Granted, the Dolphins never really got off to a good enough start to collapse this year, but it’s that time of year nonetheless. Today’s early game is bound to be a battle to see who really wants to lose this game more.
Bill Parcells – The Tuna is always entertaining and almost always ornery. If the Cowboys fall behind, you’ll get a glimpse at some faces that will make that turkey do flips in your stomach. Heck, even if they’re playing well, there’s always a chance for a sideline shot of Parcells flipping out. I think football has aged him to the point where he’s already senile.
Last chance to jump on the Tony Romo/Cowboys bandwagon – The Cowboys are 6-4 and tied for the lead in the NFC East. With a win today, their bandwagon is going to be off at runaway train speeds. If you’re interested, this is your last chance to hop on it without looking like a complete band-wagoner later. Of course, it’s also your chance to take the other side and be there laughing and saying “I told you so” when Romo gets exposed for the inexperienced quarterback he is sometime in the stretch run. When it happens, it’s going to be a spectacular spectacle of exploding Tuna.
Sleepiness lessens the annoying factor of Joe Buck – When that 4:00 game rolls around and you’re already in a half-asleep fog thanks to all the food you’ve ingested, Joe Buck won’t seem anywhere near as annoying as he generally does. Keeping this in mind, I think next year I’m going to have to start feasting during the baseball playoffs. Then again, the amount of food it would take to lessen the effects of both him and Tim McCarver would probably lead to massive weight gain and a Jared, pre-Subway-like appearance.
Bryant Gumbel and Chris Collinsworth – If you happen to have the NFL Network, the Thanksgiving nightcap should be the debut of the season’s best commentating team. Gumbel is a consummate professional on the play-by-play side of things, and Collinsworth is one of the most underrated color commentators around. After three hours of listening to Buck and Troy Aikman, the late game will be a welcome breath of fresh air. Too bad the NFL Network isn’t on basic cable yet. Hopefully that will change soon.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Enjoy the links and enjoy the food and football.
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Robot Employees in Japan – Interesting, I suppose. Although, it seems to me you could hire several (or more) competent human beings for the price (or less) of one of these robots. Though I suppose the novelty will make them effective with consumers seeing them for the first time.
More on Second Life – In this post, I referenced this story about the internet community Second Life. Here’s a more in-depth look at it. Both very interesting and more than a little weird at the same time.
Holiday Toilets in Times Square – Very cool project done by Charmin to benefit holiday shoppers in Manhattan.
World’s Oldest College Graduate – Awesome story.
1 Comment
November 23, 2006 at 11:40 pm
I really want your children